In that moment, how one responds to the news of the pregnancy can shape what happens next. 

For churches in Bakersfield and throughout Kern County, responding well means holding firmly to the conviction that every human life bears the image of God while surrounding the mother, father, and unborn child with tangible, enduring care. It also means knowing where to turn for specialized local help. 

This partnership is valuable, but the Bakersfield Pregnancy Center cannot replace the church. It can provide information and professional support. The church must be prepared to offer hope, discipleship, material help, and a community that remains after the crisis has passed.

Shame drives people into secrecy, but compassion makes honest conversations possible.

Pastors do not need to have every answer during the first conversation. They do need to listen carefully, protect the person’s dignity, and help identify the next safe step.  

Begin with questions such as: 

• Are you physically safe? 
• Is anyone pressuring you or threatening you? 
• Have you confirmed the pregnancy?
• Have you received medical care? 
• Who knows about your pregnancy? 
• Would you like someone you trust to go with you to an appointment? 
• Is there a practical problem that feels impossible to you right now? 

These questions uncover the crisis that they might be dealing with. The greatest fear may be an angry parent, an abusive partner, the potential loss of a relationship, financial insecurity, school, employment, or anticipated judgment from others.

Listen before offering solutions. She may first need to know that she will not be abandoned and that you are there to help. Pastors should explain confidentiality honestly, so it is known that you won’t share private information with staff, relatives, or members of the church merely because they are concerned. At the same time, pastors should not promise confidentiality when abuse, exploitation, threats of violence, or reporting obligations may be involved.

Medical concerns also require appropriate care. Severe abdominal pain, heavy bleeding, difficulty breathing, fainting, chest pain, thoughts of self-harm, or other serious symptoms should not be handled only through pastoral conversation. Look for the warning signs that indicate immediate medical attention may be necessary.

A life-affirming message becomes credible when a church is willing to help with some of the needs when the family chooses life. 

Depending on the circumstances, that may mean: 

• Providing groceries, maternity clothing, diapers, or baby supplies. 
• Helping with rent, utilities, and transportation to medical appointments.
• Finding temporary safe housing. 
• Organizing meals after delivery. 
• Offering dependable childcare. 
• Helping a student remain in school. 
• Connecting the mother and father with older Christian influence that can remain involved in their lives as mentors.

It is important to make promises that the church can keep. Offer specific reliable commitments rather than broad assurances that might disappear a month later. 

Ask before acting. Help should preserve dignity and not take control. A helpful question might be: 

“Which of these needs would be most helpful for us to address first? 

Parenting and adoption options should be shared honestly. Parenting can be deeply joyful, but it also requires sacrifice and support. Adoption can offer a child a stable home, but it may carry lasting grief for the birth parents. We desire for the parents to make an informed decision. 

Men are sometimes treated as irrelevant in pregnancy conversations. The reality is that a father’s response can strongly influence whether a woman feels supported or trapped. 

Come alongside him and offer encouragement and support. He should never pressure, threaten, manipulate, or abandon her, but should listen, accept responsibility, help meet practical needs, and seek wise counsel. If the couple is unmarried, the church can address the state of the relationship without withholding care from either parent.  

The Bakersfield Pregnancy Center offers coaching and support for fathers. We offer fatherhood training through Dr. Dad, which helps equip men to care for their family before and after the birth of their child, and also Guys Night on the third Thursday of every month. The local church can reinforce that work by connecting the father with mature Christian men who will challenge him to become dependable and present. 

This is where the partnership between the Bakersfield Pregnancy Center and the local churches can be especially strong. The center offers specialized pregnancy-related services and practical referrals, while the church offers a spiritual home, enduring relationships, pastoral care, mentorship, and the presence of Christian community. 

Sometimes, despite every conversation and offer of support, a woman or couple will choose abortion. The church should not pretend the decision is morally insignificant, nor should it respond by severing the relationship. 

Continue speaking with compassion, making room for the emotions involved, such as grief, anger, regret, or confusion. Come alongside them, offering pastoral care, prayer, and a clear path to the forgiveness found in Jesus Christ. Grace does not redefine abortion as good. Grace means that no repentant person is beyond the reach of God’s mercy. 

If someone is struggling after an abortion, pastors can connect them with the BPC for after-abortion care and education. Men meet in a group or one-on-one, going through Reclaiming Fatherhood together. Women meet in a group or one-on-one and go through Forgiven and Set Free. Both studies work through the healing process with those who are suffering through their abortion experiences. They point to forgiveness in Christ. 

The best time to create a compassionate pregnancy-response plan is before the need arises. 

A congregation becomes genuinely pro-life when people know they can bring pregnancy into the light without feeling abandoned. When the woman or couple knows that the church has stayed through the pregnancy, birth, adoption process, or the first exhausting months of parenting, that kind of faithfulness protects life, restores hope, and shows a watching community what Christian conviction looks like when it takes the form of love.