“Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a
I was once the one who was left praying for, crying, seeking help to have a baby. After two years of trying to conceive, I went month after month with no ovulation, no period. Each month, I thought maybe this
time I was pregnant, only to have another negative test. “Why is it so easy for all my friends, God? Why not me?” It was a lonely, hopeless place and I had no idea how to make it better. After 6 months of fertility treatments, I finally conceived. Rejoicing, yes! Throwing up constantly, sleeping every chance I had, crying even more, and yet, I was blessed. I was given the gift I had longed to receive.
After my first daughter was born, I found a new depth to the love I could have for another person. Even when she would not sleep, would not eat, or would not be content, I loved her. No matter how she acted, what she said or what she wanted, I loved her. I knew then, “this is how God loves me.” What I read in the bible, what I was told in church suddenly became a new reality for me. God loves me no matter what I do, what I say, when I am not content, not grateful, not happy, He still loves me.
When my second daughter was born, a much different person entered my life. She was busy, daring and had me outnumbered (It was now two against one!), but I loved her. I loved her when she was sick for 11 months with ear infections, I loved her when I had to hold her hot, feverish body, l loved her when she cried in pain, and I loved her when she refused to be content with all I was giving to her. I loved her when she disobeyed, when she threw a fit, and when she said, “No!”. Once again, I learned more about the love God has for me.
He loves me too, when I disobey, when I throw a fit, and when I am discontent. I learned the most important aspect of my love for God is my obedience to Him. When my children say in cards and spoken word that they love me, it is a joy for the moment. But if those words are followed by disobedience, their “love” feels empty and fake. However, if my children show their love in their obedience to us, their parents, then the love is full and overflowing. “To obey is better than sacrifice” (I Samuel 15:22).
Being a mom is the most amazing adventure and most precious gift I have ever received. It has taught me more about loving God than any other bible study I have ever completed. It is humbling to see their growth in the Lord and realize the depth of love God has for me and my children.
It is truly a gift.