So, you recently discovered that you’re going to be a father. To clarify, if she’s pregnant, you already are a father. This news, whether expected or not, elicits a variety of emotions. You may be excited, nervous, anxious, or scared; but more than likely, you’re all of the above.
When I first found out that I was going to be a father, I was shocked-it was not the timing we had planned on. I was not in the job I wanted to be in, I had to make an adjustment to my plans. As you may know already, life doesn’t always follow our wishes. I was nervous, because I was uncertain if the career I had planned to have would materialize as I wanted it to. But I was excited about this new person that was going to be part of my life.
Here’s the harsh truth: My role as a father, and your role as a father, starts the minute your lady gets pregnant. The most important thing a father can do is to LOVE the child’s mother. It’s abundantly clear from numerous studies that children who grow up in stable homes with married parents are better off by every measure – financially, academically, socially and spiritually. So, LOVE their mother. You would probably say that you already do (I certainly hope so). But love requires action, and now that your partner is pregnant, that action will look a bit different. Your partner may have a complicated pregnancy that involves morning sickness, mood swings, fatigue, or any number of issues. In some cases, she may be confined to months of bed rest. You need to be her support, her rock, her source of encouragement. If she can’t count on you now, she will seriously question whether you’ll be there to help her raise this child.
Your job as a dad has already started. Be there. Love her. Support her. Go to doctor visits with her and make sure she’s taking care of herself. Your journey as a dad has already begun. You’re not in the dugout or the batter’s box anymore, it’s time to step up to the plate!
-Male Coach at the Bakersfield Pregnancy Center
For more information about healthy parenting and relationships call our office at 326-1907. We have male coaches that would be glad to help you and your partner as you commence parenthood.